tomyfuturespouse:

If you want to just lay around in bed all day, listening to John Mayer, that’d be okay.

You…

You spoke of God’s love, yet your actions told me you hated me
You spoke of His grace, yet you betrayed me
You spoke of cherishing your friends, yet you used every last bit of me
You spoke of my beauty as if you were interested in me, yet you had a plan all along
You saw me at my most vulnerable moments and took full advantage.
You saw my good heart and abused it

I’m fine with all of it now.
Because of you, I now know my worth
Because of you, I guard my heart
Because of you, and the way you shattered my heart I found my true love in the realest of ways

I’ve discovered HIS plan for my life
I’ve discovered HIS thoughts toward me
I’ve discovered HIS healing
I’ve discovered HIS peace
And most of all I’ve discovered to how to forgive.

I forgive you! I forgive you for all the pain, all the hurt, all the empty words and malicious actions hidden behind a smile and a hug. I forgive you for the times you used my good heart to your full advantage. I forgive you for it all! No longer do I view you as an enemy, but rather a brother in Christ, and I pray every single day that God has mercy on you and that He blesses you. No longer will I hold a grudge with you because it’s not hurting anyone but me; spiritually, physically and emotionally. I release you! You no longer have a hold on me! I refuse to give the devil place in my heart by holding onto the anger and pain I have once had toward you & yours. No more!

I AM FREE!!

I miss this little man! :/

tomyfuturespouse:

You are the one who will kiss me on the forehead and tell me “Everything will be okay” when the dogs are barking, the kids are screaming, dinner is burning, and I haven’t showered yet.

I would like to thank “you” you know who you are! Thank you for breaking me down to feeling so low about myself. Thank you for the lies you told me. Thank you for the “sweet nothings” that you whispered to me when we would talk on the phone late at night, because that’s all they were, NOTHING! thank you for showing me what a man ISN’T supposed to do. Thank you for not caring for me or my feelings. If it weren’t for you being this way to me and doing those things you did I would have never been to the my lowest point emotionally. I would have never experienced God’s healing power on my heart. Not only did your actions make me a strong person emotionally it made me spiritually strong. When you left me with no one but myself I clinged to God! He helped me! He showed me my worth. All you were was a carbon copy of my future husband. So thank you for showing your true colors. I can now look forward to what and who GOD has for me!

Sincerely: Jessica JOY Trujillo <3

Ever felt complacent and unsatisfied? Like no matter what you do your not going anywhere? Well for the last month that was me. I made it a point to not show it to anyone, but when I laid in bed at night all I seemed to do was cry. I felt so empty and alone. I knew that I needed my source but I was at a loss for words for my Savior.

One night as I laid in my bed crying into my pillow I said to God that I was done with controlling parts of my life. I was done feeling the way I was feeling, and that I was gonna try things the worlds way. I was determined to rebel and see what the world had to offer. It was then that I went onto Facebook and saw that someone posted a video of a song with the following lyrics:

“breathe through me as the ocean breeze, to the sails of a boar on the open sea. overtake my heart like a hurricane, when im in your arms God i feel so safe. i surrender all i am, everything in me. overtake my heart oh God, come down consume me.

broken like a vessel that had fallen to the ground. empty with no direction God, that’s where you found me. you put me on my feet back on solid ground. now im overwhelmed by love and here your beauty abides.

ill breathe you in, breathe you out. move over me God, consume me now. with your love. with your love.

there is one thing, im absolute about. is i thirst for you, breathe on me, with your love. yeah with your love.”

I broke down in tears because these were the words my heart longed to cry out to God with! This is what I was feeling. I then put the song on again and this time, I surrendered all I was to God! I knew that God had this song for me. I worshipped that entire night into the early morning with that very song. I felt renewed.

It wasn’t as easy afterwards though. The following weekend the devil attacked me through a relationship and tried to get me to stray. I was so close but God intervened yet again.

After looking back on this last month of my life, I see the love God has for me. I see my importance to His kingdom. I am slowly discovering my calling day by day but I know that with Gods help it will be worth it.

My prayer for you is that you never feel alone. I have felt that feeling and still struggle with it from time to time, but know this: there is a God who thinks you are so precious and rare. He sees you in eyes that are beyond our human understanding. All He wants to do is hold you in His arms. All we have to do is let Him. Find your peace in the Lord and I assure you everything on earth will be a bit more bareable. God bless you! <3

If your interested in hearing the song I referred to please go to YouTube and type in “breathe” by chasing delaware :)